


Only Kinda!

by pullmydeviltrigger



Category: Devil May Cry
Genre: Danero, FLAME ME I DARE YOU, General Shenanigans, M/M, Oneshot, SPOILER: daddy kink, Secret Relationship, dick shooting, first fic, for real though, its 5AM im too high for this, kind of, like in a non-sexy way, maybe some trish/lady if you squint a lil, show me ONE photo that proves its been confirmed that they're related, smutty-ish, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-18
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-06-12 07:40:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15335070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pullmydeviltrigger/pseuds/pullmydeviltrigger
Summary: Nero embarrasses himself in bed, and to stop Dante from further humiliating him to the girls, he decides to do so himself.





	Only Kinda!

Trish found it hilarious that they thought she (nor Lady) knew about them.

She found it funny because even if Trish’ ears weren’t ten times as strong as any human, the nightly creaking of the bed next door to her room, and the footfalls on the floorboards meant that Lady knew before she was even told. She found it humorous and only minimally insulting that they didn’t think she could see the looks they sent each other when they thought no one was looking-they were the best part, varying from hungry and hard and desperate, to soft and warm and loving, to furious and tense and downright dirty. She was amused by Nero’s idiocy and the way he let his embarrassment blind him from common sense, and dumbfounded by the fact that Dante was whipped enough by his boy-toy that he played along with it, despite knowing that their relationship was so obvious they might as well have “Property of:” one another’s names on their forehead, at the very least to Trish.

Trish knew that Nero was much more than some fun to Dante, and it certainly worked both ways, but she also knew that if Nero refused to admit their relationship-or that they were at least sleeping together-she knew there wasn’t a chance in hell he would admit his feelings for the other man. And that certainly worked both ways as well-she knew Dante was terrified of being hurt again. She knew he’s take a thousand swords to the chest before opening up to anyone; it had taken years for him to even open up to Trish and Lady about his past, let alone how he felt at any given time about any given subject or issue, and whenever he did, it was more often than not with the help of some sort of booze.

But, as funny as she found both of their ignorance in the matter, she found it all the funnier when Dante came down the stairs one morning in nothing but a partially ripped towel around his waist, barely saving his decency-not that there was anything Trish hadn’t seen before, in a variety of circumstances, owed to various reasons. Most of which surprisingly didn’t revolve around sex.

Trish spared Dante only a fraction of a glance as he trudged his way down the creaking stairs with a tired and vaguely irritated expression, yet one which was simultaneously smug and full of glee. He noticed her but decided not to talk and have to elaborate until he was pressured.

“Exactly… _what_ are you doing? You do get you’re supposed to do the whole ‘walk of shame’ thing out of somebody else’s house, right? Oh-and they’re usually much less shameful.” She quipped, the smirk evident enough in her voice that it only barely graced her pale features, as she looked up from the book in which she was quickly and messily scribbling figures, and from the various numbers Dante could make out, he would assume (based on nothing but his common sense, given he’d never written down a single number or opened one bill in the time he’d lived here), she was doing their finances and paying off the various living charges the four of them racked up.

Dante couldn’t fully hide the laugh that threatened to burst from deep within his chest, but Trish could feel how hard he tried. “Look, don’t ask, alright.” He said, his small smile beaming with overjoy on his face and through his voice.

“Ah,” Trish let out as an acknowledgement as she returned her head down to steadily continue with her task. “Lover’s tiff?” She asked in an overly-loud whisper as she leaned across the Desk to where Dante was passing to the back door, from which the glow of the morning sunlight poured through the small glass window and the cracks in the wood. Dante didn’t suppress his snort as he hastened in his tracks, his tattered towel unable to keep up with his movements and exposing far too much of himself to Trish when it hadn’t even hit eight in the morning yet.

“Yea-I…somethin’ like tha-” Dante’s words were cut off, first by his own laughter, and secondly by Nero’s booming (more like screeching, not that Nero would ever admit it or Dante or Trish would ever say it) voice and sprint-speed footfalls down the borderline hazardous stairs.

“Don’t you fucking dare, Dante!” he said as he finished pulling his shirt over his abdomen with Blue Rose pointed straight at Dante’s head, his arm steady as a rock.

Trish was the first to break into laughter, and while it might have left him practically vibrating with the sheer will power and strength it took, Dante probably would have managed to get through it with a (relatively) straight face, if he hadn’t heard the blonde behind him’s guttural peals of laughter at the kid; fury and humiliation written so plainly across his features, his face flushed, hair ruined, pale skin littered with hickeys like a dot-to-dot puzzle down his neck.

Dante did let a short and rough laugh but otherwise kept himself composed, which was an even tougher task given how hot the kid looked right now, reminding the older demon hunter of his ruined expression in bed only a short while ago; which, considering how much it turned Dante on when the little shit got mad, when mixed with the image of him flushed with rage and forcing Dante to stare down the end of a barrel was ruining any and all hope of Dante’s towel protecting his dignity as he willed himself to calm down and ignore both the hilarity and just how sexy his…lover? Looked…sure, let’s go with lover.

“With the number of times all you assholes have shot me, I barely even feel it. Go on, if it makes you feel better. But you should really learn some respect for your _elders_ , kid. After all, we’re practically _family_.” Dante said with a smirk, but everyone in the room could hear the threat behind the emphasised words.

Nero’s scowl barely hid the embarrassment and shame that was clearly burning him up, and Trish actually felt bad for the kid. Her pity most certainly came second to her entertainment, however, and this was the height of comedy for her.

The younger cocked his head to the side as he forced a cold smile onto his features and slowly lowered his gun until it was pointing directly at Dante’s scantily-clad crotch.

Dante’s smugness seemed to falter somewhat significantly, if only for a second. As his face dropped he instinctively put his hands and the desk between Nero and his dick, because while he was telling the truth-it hurt less and less every time he was shot, he had never actually taken a bullet down there, somehow, and he was less than eager to test out whether his gradually-grown resilience applied to his lead-virgin crotch.

“Damnit, you haven’t punished me enough already? I didn’t even do anything!” Dante exclaimed at his younger white haired counterpart.

“You were about to! You don’t think I can embarrass you, old man? I’ve got plenty of stories-”

“Tell them what you want; I couldn’t care less! You’re the only one who gives a damn-oh and you’re also the only reason that anyone else has any idea something happened, so well done on keeping shit subtle, dummy.” Dante taunted, and he knew it would get on the kid’s nerves more than it would anything else, but also knowing that the kid himself knew Dante was right and that he had fucked up, like, seven times this morning alone, and it hadn’t been an hour since sunrise.

“Shut up, you fucking prick, none of this would have happened if you could just shut your damn mouth for thirty seconds! It’s like ‘Hi, I’m Dante, I came out the fucking womb talking shit about how amazing I am and how much everyone and everything loves me, I might as well shit rainbows and have people call me a unicorn!’ You’re-You-I don’t even-ARGH!” Nero rambled on, the longer it went on the angrier he got, knowing that he was venting and projecting and sounded like a petulant child at best. Nero hated not being in control. He always had-he turned into a baby and he couldn’t stand the embarrassment or the fury he always felt when he was helpless in any situation-particularly ones that threatened every piece of his pride to the people he was closest to. 

Lady had never been so happy with herself as she was at that moment that she decided to get up early to get some work done around the shop.

“Kid you threw my clothes out the window! How is that a fair response to me teasing you?! _**I, was, joking**_.” Dante emphasised every word as if Nero actually was a toddler whom he had told that exact phrase twenty times in the last five minutes, which of course served only to infuriate Nero further.

“How is you teasing me an appropriate response to…” Trish almost exploded when the kid trailed off, and she was beginning to actually worry that she wasn’t going to get to know what had even happened. Although, she might be able to hazard a guess. 

"You're joking right? How  _isn't_ it?!"

The way Dante smiled, more knowingly, yet still partially smugly, had Nero cocking Blue Rose and rounding the desk to realign his aim with Dante’s prick.

“Wipe that damn look off your face, asshole or I swear to God! I will blow your fucking balls off, old man.” The teen raised his voice in anger and Dante could see that he was actually getting stressed about the way the conversation (argument) was going.

“Look, why don’t we talk about this later, when I’m wearing some friggin’ clothes and we’ve actually gotten some sleep, okay?” Dante reasoned, loving how wound up the kid was but not actually wanting him to get upset (or  _more_ upset anyway, as all of his now dirty clothes would testify from their place in the garden underneath Nero's window). Dante's hands were raised in surrender, slowly trying to loosen Nero’s grip on the gun, or at the very least have him point it elsewhere.  
When Nero noticed what he was doing he shook free of the elder’s grip, but eventually relented and let his scowling features somewhat relax as he began to lower Blue Rose.

Trish’ entire brain was screaming an endless loop of ‘Are you fucking kidding me?’, and was a couple of seconds away from drawing her own gun and forcing the little shitheads to spill exactly what had happened because damn if that entire experience hadn’t given her some sorta blue balls-what the fuck could possibly be so utterly mortifying that Nero would first shoot his basically-boyfriend in the dick before letting him talk-and only to Trish and Lady no less, who, as much as they were all fairly loathe to say it, had most certainly become one big dysfunctional family.

“Aw are you guys talking about the ‘Daddy’ thing?” Lady asked through a yawn as she plodded down the stairs in the most nonchalant way, as if she hadn’t just taken every last shred of dignity Nero had been barely clinging on to and torn it up to then stamp on it. 

However, at the mention of the word Da-

However, at the mention of _the_ word, Nero seemed to have accidentally panicked, and also, if the high-pitched wail of sheer agony was anything to go by, seemed to have pulled the gun’s trigger.

“ **FUCK**!” Dante screamed a he fell to the floor and curled in on himself, actually shaking in pain as he tried to will away the burning of the hole currently in his genitals.

“Oh, my-shit Dante I’m so sorry.” Nero tried, and he got a sobbing groan in response that barely sounded human, and the kid wouldn’t even be surprised if Dante triggered right now. He couldn’t-and didn’t even want to- imagine the torture Dante must be going through right now. The teen might be a little punk but he was never actually going to shoot Dante. At least not in the dick. Nero actually needed that bit.

Trish, however, took no notice of the injured man, since Lady had her undivided attention.

“The what thing?!” She demanded, glee evident in her face.

“I know you heard me.” Lady responded with a smirk, and if Nero wasn’t so utterly traumatised by his own shame he would have noticed the sparks that were almost literally flying through the air between the women.

“Yeah, I just wanted you to say it again. And maybe some clarification, you know, nothing much, just every single detail,” she said sarcastically, keeping her cool and collected smirk on (and thankfully from the look Lady shot back at her, she really would get to hear everything). Really, she wanted to sob with laughter, but she knew Nero wasn’t ready to laugh yet, and Dante certainly wasn’t currently fit for seeing the funny side either-so she’d settle for some light teasing of the ivory haired kid.

“How the hell did you know?!” Nero demanded, the most flustered either of the girls had ever seen him.

“Paper-thin walls, kid! I heard you moaning it out, and then I heard him laughing about it for the next thirty minutes!” Lady exclaimed-she never had been a morning person, but there was something about waking up to the sound of drama that made it easier to get out of bed.

“I-I can’t even…oh my fucking god,” the kid muttered as he practically fell into the nearby sofa and cradled his heads in his hands, looking distraught, and perhaps like he was about to be sick.

“Kid, come on!” Lady Laughed and Trish slowly made her way over to him to comfort him.

“I think…I think I’m literally dying, I think this is –holy shit, CHRIST-this is it, this is how I’m gonna go-SHIT WHAT THE FUCK TRISH?!” Dante cried in suffering as he was shot in the leg by the demon.

“It isn’t the end of the world, just laugh it off. We are like family kid, no joke intended, you don’t have to be embarrassed around us.” Nero shook his head, unable to comprehend how this day had already been the worse day of his life and it hadn’t even hit 9AM yet.

“I just…Jesus, did you both know the entire time?” He asked, looking up at them when he trusted himself not to cry in frustration at his own mortification.

“Well…yeah, kinda.” Lady answered.

“Told…you…” Dante rasped from the floor, earning his other leg a bullet, this time from Lady’s gun.

“I just feel like an idiot. I didn’t want you guys to know because…I dunno. I just didn’t. I guess I didn’t want anyone else involved while I still had no idea what…this is.” Nero explained, gesturing at the body on the floor that was breathing shallowly.

“You don’t owe us anything, babe. We get it. Just relax a little, alright?” Trish scolded him softly, gently punching his shoulder and clinging onto his arm in a surprisingly caring and maybe kind of parental way. “Yeah, I mean, even if we make fun of you, you know we’ll never mean it. Or, at least you’ll know we’re never trying to actually make you feel like shit, just like, kinda make you hate yourself for a little bit. But y’know, with love and all that shit.” Lady finished eloquently for the blonde.

Nero couldn’t help but smile. “You guys are all assholes.” The warmth practically leaked from his tone.

“Especially you.” The teen said, directing himself at the man that was still on the floor. The shallow breathing had turned slow and steady, and after a few moments of expecting silence from the couch, a soft snore could be heard from behind the table where the half-devil lied.

The trio shared their chuckles and eye rolls of exasperation with one another before Trish stood and handed Nero a conveniently nearby half-full glass of water. “we’re gonna head out for a couple of hours. There’s a few minor jobs scattered around the place and I’ve been meaning to get some target training in. Call us if you need anything, and don’t kill him, no matter how tempting. He still has one of my earrings and I have no idea where he put it, so I mean, at the very least ask him first. But anyway, have fun, babe.” Trish said with a wink as she grabbed onto Lady before strutting past the tidier-than-usual living room/reception floor of the shop and toward the front door, narrowly missing dragging Lady into the pool-table.

“Wait,” Nero said as the blonde demon reached for the handle. Both of the women spun on their heels, blonde and black hair mixing as one as the women waited expectantly.

“Thanks.” The teen bit out, a small, but genuinely happy smile adorning his pale face, which was only returned by both the women before they left the two boys to their own devices.

 

Dante was harshly awoken when a slap of cold-ish water hit him across the face and down his chest, a few droplets running down his body to be absorbed by the borderline useless towel still attached to him. He wakes with a start, and is about to reach for the gun strapped to the underside of the table, when he sees Nero’s soft face peering down at him.

“Getting’ up at some point today old man, or should I call a carer?” Nero Teased, offering his devil bringer to the man splayed on his back on the dirty ground.

“Jesus, are you gonna give me a break at any point today, kid?” Dante asked as he took the helping hand with one of his own and rubbed the water out his eyes with the other.

“Probably not,” Nero chuckled as the now fully naked man jumped up to meet him at his level, the towel getting caught in the floorboards. Nero’s smile dropped into an expression of lustful hunger when he caught site of Dante’s cock, standing partially to attention even now.

“Like what you see babe?” Dante asked, wiggling his eyebrows like a lunatic.

“More just impressed that you can keep a semi even after literally being shot in the dick.” Nero replied, meeting his stare. The teen hunter didn’t expect Dante to roughly lift the back of Nero’s thighs up to his hips, but caught on quickly enough to wrap his legs around his lover’s warm and naked form as he felt the older gripping his ass.

“You wanna go upstairs and finish what we started earlier?” Dante asked, his face close enough to Nero that their breath mingled.

“Depends, are you gonna be a jackass and ruin it again?”

“Depends, are you gonna call me ‘Daddy’ again if I fuck you good enough?” Dante countered. He felt the blush in the heat rising from Nero’s cheeks before he saw it, and he laughed softly.

“You know I’m just playing, baby…” he said, trailing innocent little kisses from the teen’s lips to his neck to behind his ears, as he started sucking new hickeys onto the kid, replacing the faded ones.

“Although…”

“Although what?” Nero hissed, pulling his face away from Dante and prickling immediately.

“It was kinda hot.” Dante admit with a sickeningly mischievous smirk on his face.

Nero slapped him.

“Only kinda!”

And then he crushed his lips to the older man and ground his hips down into the other’s naked form, feeling like he’s been hard for days.

“Take me upstairs, you fuckin’ idiot.” The teen growled, and Dante obliged with the biggest shit-eating grin that Nero had ever seen him wear.

“Or…?” Dante said as he shoved the kid against the wall, and the pair shared an absolutely insufferable smirk before colliding in one of the hottest kisses either of them had ever experienced.

 

Needless to say, there were no jobs, and Lady and Trish simply went out on a girls’ day, which both of them were more than happy to do.

They sat at a milkshake bar, and howled of laughter over the events of the morning while Lady fulfilled her silent promise, and relayed everything she had heard coming from the kid’s room, in extremely vivid detail.

The pair laugh and enjoy spending time with one another, and talk about Nero, and talk about Dante, and talk about Nero and Dante, and Trish, and Lady, and Lady and Trish, and life, and suddenly its 5pm and 7,500 calories in milkshakes alone later, and they’ve been out for hours doing god knows what. They laugh about the day’s events together on their way home, trying to get everything out before they reach the house, so not to cause anymore drama.

Trish finds it funny that so much can change in day.

She finds it funny that so much can change over time-she finds if hilarious that the man who was originally just an assassination job to her over time became her best friend. Trish found it humorous that every person living in the shop tried to kill Dante when they first met him, and now they had become some sort of weird, incestuous family that seemed as if they would stop at nothing to protect each other.

Trish finds it hilarious that she’s part of the weirdest self-made family on earth, and that not only do they all have at least some sort of twisted sense of love and care for each other, but they actually know each other well enough to understand each other-the boundaries, the lines, where lies end and truths begin.

Trish finds it hilarious that the boys thought that they could hide anything, let alone such a colossal secret from their family. She also finds it heart-warmingly stupid.

Trish doesn’t find it hilarious when she walks into the shop to find it smelling like a sex club and looking like it had been attacked by a tornado.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi!
> 
> This is unbeta’d and probably a complete shambles but I haven’t uploaded in soooo long and I just need to put something out there so here it is (: 
> 
> I’m considering writing a second chapter (of pure, unadulterated smut) to this if anyone cares/if I ever find the time sooooo here’s to that maybe happening, but otherwise thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed x


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